Hello everyone!
There is only going to be one apology this time. And that is for the last post, which has been deleted. It has come to my attention from numerous wonderful people in my life that I had apologized too much and needed to stop. I know that I have this bad habit of accepting blame and apologizing profusely, even when I am not at fault. I am working on that. Mike can attest to how I've gotten better, but as I said, this is a bad habit that has been ingrained into my very being since a young age, as I was blamed for a lot of things as I was growing up, most of which were not even my fault, and I just instinctively do it. So, with that said, let's move on.
Dr. Suess had once said that "The people who matter don't care what you say, the people who don't matter, care what you say." I think this is very true as it applies to not just my friends and perspective friends, but my family as well. I grew up trying to impress my family, and realized that I don't need their approval or acceptance; the same is true about friends.
I don't remember if it was Shakespeare or Sting who said," The more things change, the more things stay the same." I used this quote years ago to describe my tragic flaw...my inability to change. The more I get to know other people, the more I realize that it's every one's flaw. People sometimes don't think things through before acting or talking it out, and more times than not, they refuse to accept their faults and wrong doings, and usually, people get hurt. The change, when it does happen, isn't like an explosion or some sort of big change that you'd notice immediately. If anything, those changes are small, and it will take you a little bit to realize it, but when you do see it, you feel a world of difference.
The one thing that I liked in my deleted post, was my paragraph on communication. Communication is still a high priority for me in any relationship and the reasons are simple. In order to have a happy and healthy relationship with anyone, you have to have those difficult conversations, no matter how trivial they may seem. Mike and I have been able to discuss everything and anything, no matter how uncomfortable we may feel, how awkward, or how scared we are of how the other person will react. In the end, we have set a strong foundation that the relationship will thrive on. Without communication, in any form, and you'll have many rough patches, and sometimes they are irreversible. For me, no matter the form of relations you have with people, you should be able to say how you feel, what you are going through, and what you are thinking freely without fear of repercussions in your opinion or feelings, and sometimes, you just need to agree to disagree and move on, without holding grudges. Life is too short to be angry and bitter, and I've seen what this can do to people, and they are still that way...sadly, most of those people are in my family.
The last thing I want to mention before I update you on the rest of my life, and I will say that once this is out there, I'll not mention it ever again. It came to my attention last night that I needed to be a good friend, in order to keep good friends, and I wasn't told by the person that it should have come from, but that doesn't matter anymore. When I first read that comment, I was angry, hurt and upset, but not anymore. The thing that I came to terms with, is that if they believe that, fine, but I did everything humanly possible and as much as any good friend would try to do in trying to communicate and find out what the problem was and work things through. Again, none of this matters to me anymore. But I think what hurt the most was not knowing what happened. I woke up this morning realizing that honestly, I didn't do anything wrong. I wasn't talking about that person in my blog, and for whatever reason they had for not asking me, or for how they perceived the blog posts, the relationship ended on a sad note. That's okay though, really. Things happen for a reason, as I am a firm believer in that. I think that we were friends when we needed to be there for each other during some rough times in our past, but who knows what plans God has for this. All I know is that we have made our choice, we're moving on, we've wished each other the best for the future, and I'm ready for the next chapter in my life, drama free. I want to surround myself with people who are not afraid to tell me their honest feelings and opinions, and vise versa, and that wasn't happening recently. I'm no longer upset or pissed off, in fact, I woke up feeling different, in a good way. Today is a new day, and it's time to start fresh. I do wish you and yours all of the best, regardless of how things ended between us, and I hope that you understand and believe me when I say that I truly am not angry or bitter. Maybe this really is for the best and I hope that you have a fantastic future with your family and all of the cute little ones that come around!
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So, as I said, today is a new day. It's time to start fresh and move forward.
Working out has been a challenge most days with Ana and her cousin, Aurora. I've been pushing myself even harder, and I can feel a difference. I know that Mike says that he sees a difference, and that motivates me even harder to continue forward! I am looking forward to the transformation!
This morning, I wasn't feeling 100%, but I still got up and headed over to work out. The P90X yoga disc is quite boring and we don't like it because it's not really yoga, and it's the same things over and over again, slowly adding one more move every twenty reps of whatever it is that we are doing. So this morning, I brought over two different pilates workouts on top of the P90X, just so we had options. We did a pilates workout, and I could tell that I hadn't worked those muscles out in a really long time.
Last week, Mom, Sarah, Willow and I went to the zoo. Willow fed the giraffes, the birds and even got to play at the playground. She tried to feed the peacocks too, but we wouldn't let her. She was so fascinated with the Merry-go-Round, that we took her on that, but once she was situated on the horse, she wasn't so sure about being on the ride.
After the zoo, I had gone home and worked on the pictures that I took. Turns out, I took more photos of Willow than I did of the animals! There was one photo that I fell in love with of Willow, I edited it and then went and bought two identical frames and made copies of this photo for me and my mom. It's a great shot, and it will be going onto our mantle, and into my portfolio!
On Wednesday, I have to go get some labs drawn, to make sure that the medication that I was taking earlier in the month has been working. I'm a bit nervous, and anxious, and at the same time, I am trying to keep level headed, and not stress out about it. I'm sure that things are going to be fine, and it's just going to take a little bit of time, if we are not successful this month, though I am hoping that it will be. We are so ready to have little ones running around the house, and I'm ready for all the adventures that will ensue!
The wind has been crazy here lately! The weather is a bit on the bipolar side again, as we had some snow a couple days ago, followed by warm days of 70* and then today has been crazy windy! I'm hoping that Spring comes sooner rather than later, and of course, with warmer weather means mowing the weeds. I'm hoping to get the supplies for the garden, so we can make the deadline on that this year, as well as a tree and some flowers to plant. Mike and I have discussed the idea of Xeroscaping our yard, taking out all of the "grass"/weeds and who knows, maybe we will have that happen in the next year or so. We still need to paint the house too...and perhaps a fence, but we need to see about funds first! These things are crazy expensive! Do it yourself?...I did it once, I could do it again if I had to, though I'd rather not! ahaha!
Mike has been getting much better with his shoulder. There are still some motions that he is limited in his ability to do them, but overall, he has made some amazing progress! I'm very proud of him for getting this far along! He tried to call the ski pass people to explain that he hasn't been able to use his pass this whole season, but they wouldn't let him refund it. They told him he needed ski insurance. There was a woman that he worked with who got a refund because of maternity, but we are not sure if she had the insurance or not...either way, I think it's silly that they refused him the credit.
I made some cheese scones the other day, and Mike has been pretty good about not demolishing them, as he would normally! We still have some left, much to my surprise! Mike found a recipe for an acorn squash, and I told him that I could give it a shot and see how he likes it. The recipe is in my Irish cookbook, and I was reading some of the folk lore on the squash, and started laughing. I told him that we couldn't prepare the squash until we conceived. Apparently, this squash will not only keep your house protected from lightning, but also safe on dark roads, and happy in love and fertility! Maybe we should have done this sooner?
So with all of that said, I will try to update again as soon as I have more things to say! Hopefully, I'll be able to get even more pictures of Willow up online.
Until next time!
